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The Mayor’s greatest games ever list.

Posted in Reviews, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 30, 2008 by ggkrapface

These are the games that stand out from the pack for the simple reason that they are just fun. These are weighed on a scale that measures beyond the sum of the parts for that elusive fun factor that comes only from sniping some grub’s head, chomping on some pesky man flesh or ordering your team of 12 die hard followers to bunker down in the middle of the parking lot across from three raging Russians sitting on massive gun turrets. I’ve put this list in no particular order.

Jump Man – oldest school DOS Tandy 800, one floppy floppy – This is the game that led me to ruin. All my wasted hours spent playing games can be traced back to this life drain. Purpose of the game? Run around the screen collecting large X’s while avoiding autonomous 4 pixel bullets. Awesome.

Gears of War – The reason why your game sucks is because it isn’t Gears of War. I’ll probably get a lot of heat for this one, but only from small little boys too intimidated to hazard their hand at controlling some of the manliest, most like-myself (no one can handle myself

like…myself) characters ever created in gaming. This game is so good that as soon as I finish some other game, Gears goes right back in. Co-op Gears is probably the pinnacle of gaming. The game looses some of it sheen in verses when you say hello and are immediately greeted by two very angry kids yelling at you to suck their massive cocks and to fuck off. Uncalled for to say the least. And I only said hello, imagine if I said I had just fucked their mothers. Which I did by the way, but I didn’t tell them that.

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Three reasons why Brawl’s online interface fails

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on May 14, 2008 by daggius

Smash Bros. Brawl is great. But why does the online interface have to be so bad?

1. No voice chat

We’ve mentioned this before and it’s a no-brainer. I don’t want to have to call someone on the phone to talk shit every time I crush them with Kirby. My phone bill would be huge.

2. Six ports to forward on your router

In order to host games on Nintendo WFC for your friends to join, your router must forward the following ports to your Wii’s IP address: 28910, 29900, 29901, 29920, 80, and 443

To do this, go to on your browser to access the router settings, then enter name/pass (default is no username and pass: admin). Then go to port forwarding and enter the ports. You must also know your Wii’s IP address on the router (for me its Your final configuration should look something like this:

That was a lot of effort. It was easier to connect via TCP/IP for a game of Warcraft 2 when I first gamed online 10 years ago. Why is Nintendo making things so un-user-friendly?

P.S. If you don’t have a Linksys router or are still having problems, check this forum for help.

3. Nintendo WFC sucks

You can’t be logged in to your friends list while you’re Brawling locally (offline) with friends. And you can’t play locally while being connected to Nintendo WFC. This makes it inconvenient and unlikely for impromptu matches with people on your friends list to occur. Sure this is less server traffic for Nintendo to deal with, but cutting this corner just makes their product so much crappier. And I didn’t even mention the twelve digit friend code. If only we could play this game through Xbox live…

Midnight in the Game Crazy of Hyde Park

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on May 3, 2008 by Pvt. Eyes

Alright, alright: I haven’t written in awhile. But the truth is, I haven’t gamed that much. You know, “life” – it gets in the way of things sometime, blah blah. Maybe that’s just a pathetic excuse that I throw out to make myself feel better about lack of time spent sitting in front of the TV. Needless to say, my reservations about Smash Brothers multiplayer were true. It wasn’t fun. I sold it back. Yeah I was horrible at it, but at this point in my gaming career, I’m valuing just a few things:

1)”Pickup and play”-ability: On a scale of 1-10(high) – Fun had while playing/Time taken to learn (or in some games’ cases – unlock Sonic and Solid Snake). If this number is even close to 1, i’m not going near it. Later Smash.

2) Multiplayer – Rock Band has confirmed the type of multiplayer gaming I enjoy and its the kind where I sit with friends on the couch. Talking over the internet is one thing, but personally I’d rather game with people and have a laugh. Or in the case of Pro Evolution Soccer, continually get my ass kicked as my roommate and I unsuccessfully attempt to win the European Championship with Portugal. We’re so bad that we had to call Luis Figo, Rui Costa and Pauleta out of retirement and we’re yet to advance past the quarterfinals. Rock Band side note for today: I picked up a mic stand and let me tell you, there is nothing better than rocking the Boston pack with that mic stand.

I’ve always been a big proponent of the Midnight Launch whether its in movies, books or games. I suppose this fits in with the type of multiplayer gaming I enjoy: there’s something that’s always exhilarating about grouping together with a bunch of other people in anticipation for the same new experience, even if X-Men III is inevitably terrible.

This week was a good week for Midnight Launches. Saturday night was Mario Kart Wii. I was surprised when I learned my local Game Crazy was doing a midnight launch for this, but I decided to check it out. My roommate, Robert, who has been victimized by many a Midnight Launch during his friendship with me, got dragged along again and it turns out we were the only ones in the store. We talked to the guy, Ken, behind the counter and he complained to us that Game Crazy only had 6 preorders for Kart but word came down from high that they needed to do a midnight launch. I picked up the game and an extra Wii Wheel and went back and hit it up. Mario Kart and I have a long history together and though I was a little distressed by the lack of Boo from the outset, the game is awesome so far. The wheel’s fun to use, though it is a bit weird at times, but here’s my review for the game: Its freaking Mario Kart. Enough Said


On monday night it was back to Game Crazy for the launch of GTA IV. As I explained to Robert, who was again along for the good times, GTA provides some of the moments that I can directly point to as turning points in my gaming career. I mentioned here before (link) that I bought a PS2 to play GTA III, but never before have I been struck by the total experience of the game world that Vice City threw at me within the first 10 minutes of playing. “I remember doing one of the very first missions,” I told Robert, “and you have to pick up this car in an alley. It was raining and you jump in the car, which was a piece of shit and the radio starts playing. It was Billie Jean and right at that moment I knew: this game was important.” Loads more people were at the Game Crazy for this one and I didn’t get out of there for 45 minutes.

One midnight launch that I didn’t make it out for was Iron Man, though I did manage to see it on Friday. Not much to say there. I suppose it was a good time, but it actually made me less excited to see The Dark Knight. The superhero movie is becoming more and more tired with every incarnation and at this point it seems impossible that any of these movies could do anything new.

For me, “doing something new” is never a criteria for having a good time whether its playing a game or watching a movie. Example: the two games this week, which are what they are because of a formula they’ve created and stuck to. But it’d be nice to get an injection of new with that balance of old and in the movie theater, as far as comic book movies are concerned, there is none of that these days.

Beloved video game and pop-culture characters brought to life: nightmares may ensue.

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on April 29, 2008 by pappimarx

In response to some fake-brought-to-real pieces done by Pixeloo (see after the jump), artist Marcus Blättermann has created a rendition of what Bowser would look like if he existed in reality (or whatever our collective existence can be called). A couple of these works are pretty frightening, so beware. The Pixeloo pieces aren’t so much what the characters would look like if they were real people, but rather what their proportions would look like with real-life textures (you’ll see what is meant by this shortly).

Bowser (by Blättermann)

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It’s time for everyone’s favorite casual blog reading: an excruciatingly long but life-altering tech editorial.

Posted in Uncategorized on April 21, 2008 by pappimarx

Now is a time marked by transition in the entertainment industry. The old advertising model is providing diminishing returns. Upfront bids have been consistently down for the first time in their history. Traditional forms of media such as CD releases for music and cable television for broadcast programming are being supplanted by web content, streaming video, video on demand, DVR, and a rapidly growing catalog of other emerging forms of digital media. It is with these emerging media that we can expect a new model to gradually materialize. While advertising will undoubtedly remain as a player, it will not be the sole revenue-generating mechanism as before.

Among the major consequences of this shift is a rising need for both entertainment groups and business corporations to find new ways to partner in order to build brands and fund projects. Likewise, artists are in need of new ways by which to distribute their content, as the old ones are providing rapidly declining returns and are riddled with piracy issues.

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Gender Bending Birdo Turns Your Crank. Bigtime.

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on March 3, 2008 by Pvt. Eyes

This post comes from Geekologie, and even if you claim to have never imagined something like this, nobody believes you. Fetish Birdo. That’s right. For those of you less versed in the sexuality of Birdo, I recommend getting up to speed by reading his wikipedia page. Mmmm, mmm.

Check out the full post here.

Update: More gender bending, this time of the virtual variety.

Gob admits Call of Duty 4 obsession consumes his existence.

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on March 1, 2008 by pappimarx

Yes Will Arnett, better known as Gob to my fellow Arrested Development whores, admitted to Conan a passionate love for this game. I wish I had his gamertag.

Speaking of CoD4, there’s a new patch for the game on Xbox live, featuring among other changes an improved Kill Cam, a quick mute option (finally), supposedly faster connection speed, and new spawn points.

Hopefully these changes will make my quest for a gold AK less frustrating. The M16 and AK were easy – now I’ve gotta splatter some domes with Infinity Ward’s slew of monkey reject assault rifles. 428 headshots down, 622 to go…

UPDATE: I have finally given birth to a gold AK47. My life now has meaning.