Archive for the Reviews Category

Three games that rock my face right now

Posted in Reviews with tags , , , , , , , on January 13, 2010 by daggius

Risk Next Gen

A 12 player, real time, online variation of the classic board game, Next Gen adds tanks, artillery, and ships to the quest for world domination.  This game has everything: diplomacy, backstabbing, hilarious Europeans cussing you out in broken English.  Did I mention battle on the high seas?  Next Gen games are free, hosted on Battle.net through Warcraft 3 with automatic stat recording and a ladder on their website.  Now the strategy game nerd and the competitive asshole in me are both satisfied with one game!

Jungle Style Pinball

While Gameprom’s last two iPhone pinball titles (Wild West and The Deep) weren’t terrible, they left a lot to be desired.  Wild West established that they could make a sweet pinball interface, but the gameplay lacked any sort of challenges to keep you interested; you were pretty much expected to sit there and repeat the same task a million times to get the high score.  The Deep aimed to improve on this with a slew of new challenges, but in the end it was a flawed effort with needlessly annoying sound effects and a game board that was clearly derived from the Wild West with only a few changes and a new theme.

Gameprom upped the ante with Jungle Style Pinball, a game that has a completely fresh interface including new features like spinning roulettes that determine whether you become trapped, release a multi-ball, or get a ball saver post, two mini-paddles half way up the board and a secret chamber with a mini paddle inside it, and missions that are fun and actually useful towards improving your score (like battling Tiki guards to defeat a giant gorilla or twisting the inlaid maze repeatedly to release the golden ball from inside).  This game has kept me way more entertained than my last 99 cent visit to the App Store, thanks a lot I Am T-Pain app.

Heroes of Newerth

Remove everything frustrating about the now 8-year-old game Dota (laggy games, limited graphical interface, disconnects, lack of voice chat, no direct rating system to avoid bad games, etc.) but retain the great gameplay, and you have Heroes of Newerth.  This game captures the essence of Dota and presents it in a more palatable form that gives the genre a fighting chance against future beasts like Starcraft 2.  I love Dota, but it is time to move on and Heroes of Newerth is the awesome answer to that.

The Mayor’s greatest games ever list.

Posted in Reviews, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 30, 2008 by ggkrapface

These are the games that stand out from the pack for the simple reason that they are just fun. These are weighed on a scale that measures beyond the sum of the parts for that elusive fun factor that comes only from sniping some grub’s head, chomping on some pesky man flesh or ordering your team of 12 die hard followers to bunker down in the middle of the parking lot across from three raging Russians sitting on massive gun turrets. I’ve put this list in no particular order.

Jump Man – oldest school DOS Tandy 800, one floppy floppy – This is the game that led me to ruin. All my wasted hours spent playing games can be traced back to this life drain. Purpose of the game? Run around the screen collecting large X’s while avoiding autonomous 4 pixel bullets. Awesome.

Gears of War – The reason why your game sucks is because it isn’t Gears of War. I’ll probably get a lot of heat for this one, but only from small little boys too intimidated to hazard their hand at controlling some of the manliest, most like-myself (no one can handle myself

like…myself) characters ever created in gaming. This game is so good that as soon as I finish some other game, Gears goes right back in. Co-op Gears is probably the pinnacle of gaming. The game looses some of it sheen in verses when you say hello and are immediately greeted by two very angry kids yelling at you to suck their massive cocks and to fuck off. Uncalled for to say the least. And I only said hello, imagine if I said I had just fucked their mothers. Which I did by the way, but I didn’t tell them that.

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Futurama movie: worse than “American Dad” series

Posted in Reviews with tags , on April 18, 2008 by daggius

The Futurama movie “Bender’s Big Score” features one unfunny joke after another, which does nothing to aid a terribly forced and uncreative plot.  The team’s first delivery mission is to a nude beach planet, as if showing some cartoon-character skin is going to make up for crappy humor.  The characters themselves are insulting oversimplifications of their TV-series selves, with Leela doing “hee-ya” karate kicks for no reason and Hermes starring in pointless limbo scenes (with no acknowledgement of his tumultuous limboing past).  The 15 minutes of this crap I watched before giving up in disgust were a complete disgrace to the good name of Futurama.  If only I got around to watching it 5 months ago when it came out I could have warned more people NOT TO WATCH IT!  Whoever pinched off this loaf of a movie better be satisfied because now Futurama’s probably going to get cancelled AGAIN.

Now I want to build a Trebuchet in my backyard

Posted in Reviews with tags , , on April 12, 2008 by daggius

Sorry Desktop Tower Defense, I have a new favorite Flash game. Magic Pen (the culprit) calls on my basic Physics knowledge to draw simple machines that carry out important tasks, such as rolling a ball to a flag, or knocking some blocks outa the way. With 26 levels, it keeps me satisfied longer than Crayon Physics, and time I spend feels almost educational. Seriously, they should use this in schools to teach Physics or something. Anyway, if you enjoy Rube Goldberg machines or Medieval warfare devices, this game will likely give you some pleasure.

Boom.

Magic Pen: http://magic.pen.fizzlebot.com/

Finally…Lost Odyssey begins to fill the quality-RPG void on the 360.

Posted in Reviews with tags , , , , on March 29, 2008 by Arya

One of my concerns over choosing the 360 over the PS3 a year or so ago was that I would be alienating my game library from the quality RPG’s that were much more typical of the PS2 than the XBox. The two major genres of console titles I have found myself playing are role-playing games and first-person shooters. While I dabble in nearly every genre, these two have by far offered the most to my all-time favorites. By deciding on the 360, I essentially gave up quality next-gen RPG’s for FPS’s. Microsoft’s finest titles are their shooters and I’ve pounded countless hours into Call of Duty 4 and Halo 3 as a personal testament. At any rate, I vowed to get a PS3 only if their titles ever started kicking ass (still waiting).

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Patapon fever highly contageous.

Posted in Reviews with tags , on March 4, 2008 by Arya

So I took a trip over to GameStop today to pick up my very own copy of the newly released PSP first-party title, Patapon. Lucky for me they had one copy left. I took this bad boy home and started playing it. I wasn’t very impressed by the first mission, and considered putting the game down for later, but instead I decided to press onward.

And what a fantastic decision that was – the next three missions I played were unbelievably fun. By the time I got the hang of the rhythm I was fighting entire battles in fever mode (hit the drums correctly enough times in a row), not missing a beat.

The gameplay is simple but addictive. Basically, you are the god of a group of warrior peoples (or rather eyeballs with legs and arms). By banging your war drums (each corresponding to a different button) you issue commands to your troops such as march on or attack.

Patapon also totes a surprisingly sleek system of birthing new patapons (warriors) to fight for you using the raw materials you gain either as spoils from battle or from completing mini-games. Among my personal favorites is a game that involves you shaking goodies out of a dancing tree as well as another where you slice ingredients into a cooking pot (sounds weird but awesome right?). To top it all off, the art style and graphics are stunning.

I highly recommend this title to all gamers. You can pick it up for a cool $19.99, a price lower than its value for sure.

Super Smash Bros. Brawl – First Impressions

Posted in Reviews with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 12, 2008 by kingzardoz

Brawl sold 1 million units in Japan! And with good reason, the game kicks ass. A few contributors at Thumb Butler have been lucky enough to get their hands on the Japanese import of Brawl and here are their first impressions.

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