Five of the Most Overrated Games of Recent Times

BY:

The Mayor

KratosCrap

 

Before I start in on this and the two people that read this blog get pissed and write a comment I won’t read, I have laid some rules upon which I’ve based my critiques for an overrated game.

  • First off, the game must be highly rated – I’m talking 9.0+ across the board. Sure, one or two sticklers (also known as critical reviewers) could throw up an 8.8 or something every once in awhile, but for the most part these games need to be well received.
  • Second, overrated doesn’t mean highly anticipated – it just means overrated. There is a difference. Assassin’s Creed isn’t on this list – it sucked and once everyone played it, they realized it sucked. Also, overrated doesn’t mean I didn’t like the game; it just means tons of people liked it more than me and are obviously retarded for doing so.
  • Third, I’ve limited my picks to games I’ve actually played. I haven’t beaten them all, but I’ve played the majority of their campaigns and multiplayer options if applicable.

Finally, this list is definitive, conclusive and undeniable. There is no contrary argument. Peace.

 

#5: HALF-LIFE 2 – Yeah, I know, it’s Half-Life 2, it’s a great game, it’s awesome, the physics are fun, Source is pretty, crossbows in games equal an automatic 7.5 at least and I guess I care about the characters. I’ve played this game probably three times start to finish and each time would say I’m playing a great game. PC Gamer slapped a 98% on this puppy and Valve went to the bank. Gamerankings.com gives it a 95.4%. I say pish posh and slam a solid 89% on Gordon’s forehead.

Why? Two reasons really, and the first is a rather lame excuse that I only cry about when I’m out of candy. First off – what does this game have to do with the first Half-Life? Answer: Nothing. Sure, Gordon’s here, there is a crowbar, Barney wanders around, and the alien slaves make a renewed appearance, but beyond that pretty much nothing. What happened to Black Mesa? Where are all the other alien species? Combine? Who? No.

 

I suppose this is a niggle and I don’t really care cause most of the game is awesome, but the real wedgie from this game is the human enemy (Combine) AI. It doesn’t actually suck, but it doesn’t hold its own when looking at Half-Life 1. I could write the AI routine for the Combine and I don’t know anything about programming. Here, lets write it: Stand around, get shot by crossbow, die awesomely. That’s it. I know a game has poop AI when I only have to press the “W” key to kill the enemies. I remember pressing “A” and “D” and even sometimes “S” when playing Half-Life 1.

Everything else in this game rocks, but the Combine AI is so boring I can’t help but say this puppy is overrated. Anyone notice how the excellent expansion packs have very little straight up Combine combat? Wonder why? Cause Valve wants to give me a job.

 

#4: GOD OF WAR 2 – Alright, this game just sucks happiness from me. The original God of War is probably one of the best games of the last gen systems and did pretty much everything right. I, like so many other sweet, sweet muscular dudes, couldn’t wait to rip up Kratos’s latest XYY powered tirade.Kratos

Unfortunately, the sequel just blows. I have no interest whatsoever in whatever abortion is plopped on the PS3 after playing this game. Obviously the director on GOW 1 was the true player in its development, the rest of the dev team must have just been pulling levels. The true weakness to GOW 2 is the horrible combat system. I’m pretty sure that’s what Kratos was so upset about in GOW 2: his combat system.

Being a seasoned GOW 1 player and having beat Ninja Gaiden on one step up from Normal, I would say I’m pretty good at figuring out how to string user created combos together. Unfortunately, I couldn’t figure any sweet combos out in this game other than the predetermined L1+whatever crap. Sure you could do 50+ combos fairly easily, but hammering L1 is for babies. And babies shouldn’t be playing GOW 2, they should be playing Call of Duty 4, (I know they are on there, I hear their high pitched wails).

I loved knocking enemies into air, punching them, slamming them to the ground, doing some grabs and then finally offing them with a knee to the back. Not possible as far as I could tell in GOW 2. 79% to this game. Once again, no arguments are allowed.

 

#3: GRAND THEFT AUTO: SAN ANDREAS9.9/10 from IGN.com, 92% on Gametrailers.com. My review? 72% for being boring. Everything about this game is boring – the color scheme, the world, the cars, the driving, even Samuel Jackson is boring and his heart pumps awesome. So much content is here, yet I played it all in GTA 3 and that which is new is just lame.

I have nothing more to say about this game. I’d give it a 45% just to accurately describe how bored I was while playing, except I would feel like I was short changing the fact that there are some good things about this game. Those being…the custom soundtrack I added to my Xbox and the huge world. Oh, except the huge world was boring. I guess I only liked my Shadows Fall album I had on my Box. Except that band is boring now. 45%.

 

#2: HALO TRILOGY – It’s hard to determine which game is most overrated in this series. I guess if I had to go with one I’d go with Halo 2 because I did have fun with Halo 1 up until the Flood came on-screen, and Halo 3 was sucker punched by Duty 4, so at least a good size of the masses agree with me on that one. But as a whole I’m gonna have to say this whole series deserves nothing more than a 72%.

What killed Halo for me? Easy answer – The Library in the first game. Oh and The Library in the second game. Oh and The Library in the third game. Yeah I know there isn’t a level called The Library in the third game. That’s ok, they call it “The Last Quarter of the Game in Halo 3.” The biggest crime against humanity committed by the Halo series is that they put vehicles in this game. And then they let you drive them around. And run over dudes. And have fun. And then they take them away. And then you have to play a level called the Library. Three times. Every game. It sucks.

If Bungie wants me to play Halo 4 here is what they need to do: 1) Make a huge world. 2) Put vehicles in it. With guns. 3) Let me drive around and shoot little blue alien hobbits. 4) Don’t talk to the guys at Rockstar. I’ll be ecstatic.

 

#1: RESIDENT EVIL 4 – This is by far the most overrated game of the past three years, yet it has won pretty much every Game of the Year award since being released. It was even nominated for game of the year in ’07 at Gametrailers.com. That’s 2007, as in two months ago. Yeah. How many times can a game win game of the year? Shouldn’t the answer be one?

The biggest poop of this game is that it sucks. Straight up blows. Who thought walking in a straight line, stopping, slowly aiming at some dumbass villager’s head and shooting him three or four times IN THE HEAD is fun? Who thought doing that for 15+ hours was fun?? Everyone apparently. Tell me, why can’t I strafe? Why can’t a highly trained operative take a few steps to the left or right?? WHY?? Does anyone have an answer for me? I loathe this game. -24%.

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5 Responses to “Five of the Most Overrated Games of Recent Times”

  1. The only one of these I don’t agree with is your #2, The Mayor. Halo 1 had a legendary campaign and incredible LAN multiplayer. Halo 2 was a project with the primary purpose of bringing the series online to gain a successful multiplayer base. Its high rating was based on its fantastic online play, not really its standard, nothing-special campaign. So to call it overrated because the campaign wasn’t good doesn’t really make a lot of sense to me.

    I will agree though that Halo 3 was an overrated game.

  2. Suer System Says:

    Haha – great post. Thoroughly agree: the Library blows.

  3. interesting stuff, though I loved GTA and played San Andreas into the ground. Personally I would like to see Bioshock on this list, but that will be another post…nice article

  4. or mass effect for that matter

  5. I agree that San Andreas is overrated. Although San Andreas added a ton of new stuff, my favorite of them is still definitely Vice City.

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