Archive for Lame Town

Preview: Bionic Commando Rearmed Vs. Bionic Commando

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , on January 23, 2008 by kingzardoz

Bionic Commando
I never played the first Bionic Commando and after seeing videos of the original NES game I desperately wanted to go back in time and claim a portion of my childhood that was robbed from me. How could I not have played Bionic Commando when I was 5 years old? The only person to blame is my mother. Her failure to introduce this revolutionary NES game to me has obviously been the cause of 113% of my shortcomings in adulthood.

Whatev, no biggie, Bionic Commando Rearmed is coming out for XBLA with cooperative play, so all my post-adolescent troubles are solved. Hopefully it will be like Contra on steroids and from the previews it looks that way. But this Bionic Commando Revival has also spawned a black specter among us, Bionic Commando for 360/PS3, an unimaginative disease with an unknown release date (like your grandfather).

When I first heard about a Bionic Commando set to hit the Next Gen consoles I said, “Shit, I hope they don’t take the same idea (a man with a grappling hook) and place it in a 3d world.” Well, after watching the latest video, I am excited to say that they did exactly that. Complete with swinging crap and really awkward looking physics. The idea of a grappling hook in a 3d environment happened in 1998 with Quake 2 CTF and maybe even before that. It’s a bit late to make a game where that is your only “gimmick” gameplay element. Oh but now you can use it to attack enemies you say?! I would rather chew my way out of a whale corpse.

I know some people will disagree with my forecast for the new Bionic Commando (360/PS3) because they like swinging through an open environment, but that was executed to perfection in 2004 with Spider-man 2. Capcom is a little late to the party.


In summary:

  • Bionic Commando Rearmed for Xbox Live Arcade — Potentially Excellent, affordable, and Co-op play!
  • Bionic Commando Dung-filled Abortion (360/PS3) – Pathetic half-hearted attempt at uniting old with new a few years too late.

Team 17…developers of disappointment

Posted in News with tags , , on January 22, 2008 by kingzardoz


Worms: A Space Oddity, set to release March 10th on the Wii , will not have online support! Yes yes, funny considering Team 17 originally announced online support and downloadable content. Obviously, Team 17 and THQ have no interest in selling this latest installment of Worms. There must be some reason (unlikely a good one) for omitting the one feature that would update the Worms franchise for the new generation of consoles but the developers or publishers have yet to comment. If you haven any interest in playing Worms: A Space Oddity online go over to IGN and vote in the poll or just raise hell.