Great year for Sci-FI films!

There is a lot to be thankful for in 2009, your father decided to put down the bottle, your brother decided that the sex change operation wasn’t such a great idea, your sister didn’t get to film the documentary about your brothers sex change, and District 9 was released. Great year for sci-fi indeed. Now we have one more movie to add to 2009’s limited sci-fi roster, Pandorum! Two decent movies for 2009! Lets get into dat…

Yeah! SPACESHIP!

Pandorum is the tits. How many ways can I praise Ben Foster before people catch onto the unhealthy man-crush I have for this guy. First introduced to me in The Punisher followed by his rowdy skinhead performance in Alphadog, this actor delivers the most intense performances among his peers. Every time this guy walks into a scene I  shout, “oHH DAAYyUMM, sheit isa bout to git REAL! Dis muthafucka is cOLD!” much like ye’ olden days of Jerry Springer. And shit does get real my friends. Could he be the reason why I love Pandorum so much? Or could it be the drought of theatrical sci-fi films currently plaguing our society? None of these questions are important because none of them involve you seeing Pandorum. If you like sci-fi you should see this movie. Sure the Vietnamese farmer knows Kung-fu and the Terra-form scientist knows jiu-jitsu, oh right, and the blue guys kinda look like orcs from LOTR and…well alright this is not Solaris. Look, I like classic sci-fi just as much as the next date rapist but I am not gonna get all snobby about it while I am reading Stanislav Lem in Barnes & Noble, stalking the cashier with the ouroboros tattoo peaking out her shirt sleeve. Pandorum is fun, sure it takes a few too many turns down Hollywood Lane but the pacing of the story is excellent, the tension is ripe like your body odor, and the acting isn’t cheap thanks to Ben Foster. Now I have one more movie to add to my sci-fi rotation right between Forbidden Planet and Outlander. I’ll leave you so I can go perfect my blue face paint make-up for the Avatar premiere.  – ZARDOZ

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