Preview: Bionic Commando Rearmed Vs. Bionic Commando

Bionic Commando
I never played the first Bionic Commando and after seeing videos of the original NES game I desperately wanted to go back in time and claim a portion of my childhood that was robbed from me. How could I not have played Bionic Commando when I was 5 years old? The only person to blame is my mother. Her failure to introduce this revolutionary NES game to me has obviously been the cause of 113% of my shortcomings in adulthood.

Whatev, no biggie, Bionic Commando Rearmed is coming out for XBLA with cooperative play, so all my post-adolescent troubles are solved. Hopefully it will be like Contra on steroids and from the previews it looks that way. But this Bionic Commando Revival has also spawned a black specter among us, Bionic Commando for 360/PS3, an unimaginative disease with an unknown release date (like your grandfather).

When I first heard about a Bionic Commando set to hit the Next Gen consoles I said, “Shit, I hope they don’t take the same idea (a man with a grappling hook) and place it in a 3d world.” Well, after watching the latest video, I am excited to say that they did exactly that. Complete with swinging crap and really awkward looking physics. The idea of a grappling hook in a 3d environment happened in 1998 with Quake 2 CTF and maybe even before that. It’s a bit late to make a game where that is your only “gimmick” gameplay element. Oh but now you can use it to attack enemies you say?! I would rather chew my way out of a whale corpse.

I know some people will disagree with my forecast for the new Bionic Commando (360/PS3) because they like swinging through an open environment, but that was executed to perfection in 2004 with Spider-man 2. Capcom is a little late to the party.

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In summary:

  • Bionic Commando Rearmed for Xbox Live Arcade — Potentially Excellent, affordable, and Co-op play!
  • Bionic Commando Dung-filled Abortion (360/PS3) – Pathetic half-hearted attempt at uniting old with new a few years too late.
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